So there I was...
 
...it was one of those nights when the dispatcher used me for anything BUT DUI
enforcement.  After all, my job title is "DUI Enforcement Officer," but my badge
stills says "Police Officer" so when they need a cop, they need a cop.  Just because
I specialize doesn't mean I've forgotten how to do everything else.
 
Anyway, I was the only officer available when a guy walked into 7-11 and told the
clerk he had been shot.  The clerk called 911, and I was dispatched.  I was only
about two blocks away when I got dispatched, too, so my response time was much
faster than average.
 
I carefully rolled in to the parking lot, making sure to check all the dark corners
for the shooter who may take a shot at a cop for fear of going to jail.  Seeing that
it was clear, I sliced the pie around the corner so I could see in the store.  All I
saw was the store clerk, still holding the phone and talking to our dispatcher, and
two customers.  I didn't see any weapons or reason for alarm, so I went in.  
 
The "victim" was sitting on a milk crate behind the counter, so I didn't see him at
first.  Once he came into view, though, it was painfully obvious he was the guy I
was there to see.  Most of his upper right arm was missing and the bone was
obviously shattered.  Tendons and strands of muscle were hanging out by threads, and
blood gushed from him like a sieve.
 
Ok, for the uninformed reader I'll state something that is obvious to all the gun
nuts:  This was not an ordinary pistol shot like I had pictured in my mind coming
into the call; he had been blasted with a shotgun at close range.  Comparing his arm
to hamburger would be being nice to hamburger.
 
The "victim" was a young Black man, but he was more grey when I saw him, and it was
obvious he was starting to go into shock.  He began shivering and his eyes rolled
back into his head.  Thinking he may expire soon, I wanted to get as much
information out of him as I could (of course, I had radioed for medical personnel to
respond code 3 in the meantime).  I asked if he knew who had shot him, where it
occurred, etc.  He was only able to tell me he was walking "on a street somewhere"
when a "white car" drove by and shot him.  He didn't remember the street name, nor
could he tell me much more about the suspect vehicle.
 
It didn't pass the smell test.   In fact, it stank strongly of something that came
out of the south end or a northbound bull.  I don't think you have to be a cop to
know this guy was lying to me, but the ambulance arrived and I lost my chance at
finding the truth.
 
Other officers cleared and took over the case, since I'm supposed to be kept free
for DUI enforcement.  Two officers met him at the hospital and tried to interview
him further, but ran into the same bogus story I did.  Eventually, one of them
radioed for me and asked for my cell phone number.  I gave it to him, and minutes
later got a call.
 
"Dude, Fountain P.D. is here.  They say your 'victim' was actually a suspect in a
home invasion.  It seems the homeowner walked in and found your guy and another guy
burglarizing him.  Both bad guys were armed with pistols, so the homeowner smoked
them with a shotgun."  
 
Well doom on you, dirtbag!